Spider 2Y Banana Comes to Cleveland

Las Vegas. Sin City. Home to dollar craps table and $2.99 prime rib. A place where bail bonds storefronts outnumber public libraries by an 8:1 ratio. Home to the world’s largest Ferris wheel, the world’s largest Hooters restaurant, and the world’s smallest sense of decorum and decency. This is after all a place with a restaurant that seems to take pride in contributing to coronary health problems by selling unfiltered cigarettes and milkshakes made with butterfat. (Way to go America) However, I have a love/hate relationship with Las Vegas. I have logged countless hours at the craps tables at the Golden Nugget and Golden Gate casinos, and the staff here at 4338 used to make one or two trips a year to Vegas. I once ate enough food at the Aria Buffet that I needed to buy bigger pants in their gift shop for the trip back to gritty Fremont Street. I even once had a trip where the only thing I won was a free popcorn at the movie theatre. (Sad, but true story) However, as much as I somewhat enjoy going there, there is still a weirdness because LAS VEGAS SHOULDN’T EVEN EXIST. This is made perfectly clear as you fly into Las Vegas. It’s a strange sight, the city in the middle of a stark, arid landscape devoid of any other cities. Thanks to the Hoover Dam and the 8.5 trillion gallons of water in Lake Mead, the City has undergone crazy expansion since Warren Beatty and Harvey Keitel founded the city in the 1940’s. It is one of the thirstiest cities in the world, and has actually managed to deplete Lake Mead in recent years. There is a sense that the entire city is artificial and wildly out of place in an otherwise beautiful, rugged desert ecosystem.

I think the synthetic nature of Las Vegas is partly why the Raiders are such a good fit there. The Raiders plainly don’t care about anything except making money, and that is not dissimilar to all things Vegas. This is a team that started in Oakland, moved to Los Angeles, moved back to Oakland, and most recently came to Las Vegas this past offseason. Despite the franchise selling their soul a few different times, the Raider fans are fiercely loyal, albeit festooned in dark imagery. Even their new stadium looks fake, like a plastic salad spinner plunked down in an abandoned office park. The point is that in my lifetime, the Raiders have been sort of a caricature of an NFL franchise, complete with an owner who seems to cut his own hair, and somehow they have found the perfect home in Las Vegas.

So the Raiders come east this week to take on the red-hot Browns. Most recently the Raiders were dismantled by geriatric quarterback Tom Brady, but the week prior they somehow managed to beat the defending superbowl champion Kansas City Chiefs 40-32. Like many AFC teams, it’s hard to say if this Raider team is any good. (I believe the same is true of the Browns) Statistically, Derek Carr has been lights out with 13 touchdowns and 2 picks, but remember that he is Derek Carr, and not exactly a guy that instills fear into a defensive secondary. However, I’ve said it often that our safety and corners are paper thin, so I think Oakland will really come out throwing and try to stretch the field. Carr has been sacked 11 times in 6 games, so hopefully Myles Garrett can get him rattled and derail that offense. Oakland doesn’t run the ball exceedingly well, but today is expected typical crappy Cleveland weather (windy, rainy, cold) so perhaps the Raiders will try to get Josh Jacobs going in this game, eat some clock, and keep the Browns offense off the field.

Cleveland is obviously looking to capitalize on the good start and get to 6-2 before a bye week. Week in and week out, it has been difficult to predict what the Browns will do on offense. With no OBJ, clearly that means more targets for Landry, Higgins and our bevy of tight ends. For whatever reason, Kareen Hunt isn’t a guy that can carry the ball 25 times, so if the weather really is that bad, they are going to need more guys to run the ball and that could mean D’Ernest Johnson or Hilliard gets some reps. I wonder if today might be the kind of game to give to Andy Janovich and play some old school football where a fullback actually carries the ball. I’m starting to gain confidence in Stefanski’s ability to game plan and exploit weaknesses from opposing teams, and I like that there are a couple of gadget plays each game as well. Special teams play could also be significant today in bad weather and that’s a coin flip in terms of which team will benefit. After thinking about this game all week, listening to some podcasts, and consulting my magic 8 ball my sense is that Stefanski will outcoach Gruden in a lower scoring game than a lot of people are anticipating. I like the Browns to win this game late by a score of 27-20.


Go Browns.