A Slippery Trip to the Land O'Lakes

First a brief recap of last week, which by all metrics was an historically one-sided affair in Cleveland. Although this blog is pointedly not a statistical analysis of football games, it’s hard not to acknowledge the quantitative aspects of the soul-crushing defeat handed to the Bears last week. One net passing yard for the Bears, nine sacks from the Cleveland Defense, 1.1 yards per play for Chicago and the Bears went 1-11 on third down. Before we get too excited about such a dominating defensive performance, let’s remember it was against a rookie quarterback with a clueless head coach who didn't take any steps at all to create a scenario where Fields could be remotely comfortable. However, there was definitely a fire in the defensive unit and it’s safe to say that the Chicago Bears went back to the windy city with their tails* between their legs. Maybe they can track down some of that terrible pizza casserole they’re fond of in Chicago, or those nonsense hotdogs with pickles on them. Point being, the Bears are so bad that I don’t really think this win can tell us a whole about the Cleveland Browns.

That brings us to this week, with a trip Minneaoplis for the Browns. The Twin Cities are kind of a magical place to me, I have never actually been there (except for the airport) but I’m confident I could live there happily. I’ve known a handful of people from Minnesota, and I can honestly say that none of them ever tried to murder me. Even though Bob Dylan is from Minnesota, I still hold this state in high regard musically. Prince, The Replacements, The Hold Steady, Hüsker Dü, and of course surf-rock band The Trashmen all hail from Minnesota. I was surprised to learn that F. Scott Fitzgerald was born in Minnesota, had he lived there longer, maybe The Great Gatsby might have been more about ice-fishing shacks and opulent parties featuring lutefisk. There are some theories that places like Minnesota will be somewhat insulated from climate change down the road, so maybe there will be a mad rush to Duluth in the next couple of decades. Really, the only criticism I have of Minnesota is that they claim to be the land of 10,000 lakes, that’s too many.

There are lots of storylines this week in Vikings-Browns. Head Coach of the Cleveland Browns, Kevin Stefanski, spent 14 years as an assistant coach for the Vikings, so you would think that he’d like to go back home and run up 50 points on his former team. However, I think Stefanski is all business, and those sorts of things just don't register as all that relevant to him. I hope he’s more concerned about how in the world Baker Mayfield got sacked 5 times in the game last week. The offensive line has been adequate at best, and Baker still has that tendency to hold on to the ball a little too long. To me, that’s going to be something to keep a close eye on today. The Vikings are at 1-2 on the year, with both losses coming on the road by a combined total of 4 points. They are led by career journeyman Kirk Cousins, who, although he’s not a superstar, is a crafty, efficient veteran. He’s completing 74% of his passes, and has no interceptions of the season. He’s also only been sacked a total of five times on the year, so he’s a guy that gets rid of the ball quickly. I think this is going to give the Browns fits. I’m still not a believer in the Cleveland defense, and Cousins is the kind of experienced quarterback who can pick apart a defense. Their all-everything running back Dalvin Cook is expected to play today, and he is as explosive as anybody in the NFL. Long story short, I think the Vikings have a very capable offense, and I think the Browns are vulnerable on defense, especially in the secondary.


When the dust settles in the overly-shiny and asymmetric U.S. Bank Stadium, I think people are going to be glad they were there to see over 900 yards of offense. The chemistry with OBJ and Baker will continue to improve, and I’d wager that Odell has a long touchdown along with 9 or 10 catches. I think Cousins will have a great day, and throw for over 275 yards against the Browns, and put plenty of points on the board. If I were a gambling man, I’d sure throw some money on over 51.5 points, that might happen by halftime. I picked the Browns to win 12 games, so by rights I need to pick 4 more losses this season. This two game road trip is tricky, but I think they are more likely to win today than next week at the Chargers. I like the Browns to win this game on the last possession of the game, something along the lines of 39-34.


Go Browns.