"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

Growing up in Northeastern Ohio, Cincinnati seemed like distant place, but nobody really knew how far away.  Southwestern Ohio swirled with mystery, and there were rumors in the schoolyard that Cincinnati might even be in a different time zone. The older folk even made the claim that it was actually part of Kentucky, and not in fact with the confines of the Buckeye State. (There is some truth to that as the Cincinnati airport is inexplicably located in Kentucky.) Wild tales abounded about the foreign, exotic nature of that city.  They seemed to favor some strange concoction of chili, spaghetti and cheese, the city was formally known as "Porkopolis", and it is the birthplace of Charles Manson. However, the city apparently was interesting enough to spawn the amazing TV show from the late 1970's, WKRP in Cincinnati. Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap jammed the airways with music, and Les Wessman kept the good people of Cincinnati informed of the news. (Turkeys Away is an absolute gem, but I can't find the full episode anywhere) Oddly enough, Cincinnati is home to quite an Octoberfest, complete with the running of the wieners. (It's unclear if the dachshunds are voluntary participants in this event, but they do seem to enjoy their hot dog bun costumes.)

In any case, the Cincinnati Bengals made the three and a half hour ride to Cleveland to compete in another round of The Battle of I-71. The Bengals come into tonight's contest with a record of 1-11 after a thrilling victory over the Jets last week.  Andy Dalton (aka The Red Rifle) made his return after missing a month, and promptly got his team in the win column for the first time this season. (To be fair, it was just the Jets.) There's an old adage in football, that you can never really trust a red-headed quarterback. (At least, I think that's a thing people say, seems like it could be true.) In any case, Andy Dalton's tenure in Cincinnati started out hotter than a fox in a forest fire, and they went to the playoffs in his first five seasons. (But no playoff wins) This year will be the fourth consecutive year below .500, and the Bengals seem to be a sinking ship.  They are indeed a long way removed from the (glory?) days of Sam Wyche and the Ickey shuffle, but they do seem to have fewer criminals on their roster these days, so maybe they'll right the ship next season.

The Browns won both meetings last year, which included kind of a hilarious moment involving Damarious Randall handing Hue Jackson the ball after intercepting Dalton. However, prior to last season the Bengals dominated this matchup winning 12 out of 16 games against Cleveland going back to 2010. This year the Browns are a heavy favorite, but I am not quite sure why.  Yes the Bengals are a bad team, but the Browns continue to be mired in bad press, bad leadership, and as of late, bad offense. I almost always talk myself into believing the Browns can score around 30 points each week, but clearly that has not been the case. Considering there will be strong winds blowing in from the lake, and taking into account two mediocre teams, I anticipate the home fans won't see a whole lot of scoring today.  I think the Browns squeak out a win on the last possession of the game (Njoku touchdown) and win the game 23-20.

Go Browns.